I just want to say that...

Grape Powerade = JOY


It's delicious delicious delicious.

There might be wildlife on Uranus.

So this kid at work has had pinworms for six months and no one knew about it. In case you didn't know, pinworms are these tiny worms that live in your anus and then crawl out onto your buttcheeks to lay eggs. They are HIGHLY contagious and anywhere from 20-40 percent of the population is infected with them at any given time. This kid has had them for quite some time so just think about how many people she could have infected. SO WHY IS SHE STILL AT SCHOOL??? Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for the poor kid, but her parents really need to realize how serious that is, and the principal needs to think about the well-being of the other children at school. My skin was crawling all day Friday as I dwelled on this. My co-worker's son is in this kid's class so she called the doctor and asked if she should bring him in to be treated. The woman who answered the phone at the doctor's office said, (and I quote) "Oh, you just have to check his booty-hole with a flashlight." WTF. So apparently these things glow under a flashlight. I DON'T WANT A GLOW WORM IN MY ASS! The more I think about this, the more revolting it becomes. My ass has never itched, and I'm pretty anal (har har) about washing my hands, so I guess that works in my favor. This is a lesson to everyone to wash your hands obsessively and don't chew on your fingers!!! You can also breathe the eggs in but that's not very common, so worrying about that would border on severe paranoia (however, I can admit that I did worry about this somewhat).

Alright, enough of this gross-out blog. I wish I had something more pleasant to talk about, but I don't.

You've got to be shitting me.

*NSMB SPOILER*

I beat this game in a few hours. And, the final battle with Bowser was easier than any of the other battles against Bowser Jr. If you become Mega-Mario you can just step on Bowser once and the whole thing is over. I was expecting a little more. Whatever. I still plan to play as Luigi and get to all the levels I skipped and all the secret shit I didn't open. I need to replay all the levels and collect the three coins in each one.

With that gripe aside, does anyone else dig the new wave song in world 8-5 and the little dance the goombas and koopas do to it? It's awesome.

That's-a-so-nice-a!

Tuesday night I ran (didn't walk) to Circuit City to buy the New Super Mario Bros. game. Not only was Circuit City selling it for $8 cheaper than Walmart, but they also threw in these two little guys for free! Awesome!

I must admit though, I was thoroughly sucking at first because I kept falling off shit. Does anyone else find Mario extra slippery in this game? Greasy wop.

I still need to buy Super Princess Peach, but that can wait until after I beat this game. If I ever beat this game.

--Edit--

After playing for awhile I came up with a list of reasons I suck at this:

1) I've died too many times as a result of wall bouncing.
2) I fall off the edges waaaay too much.
3) I can never get all eight of those red coins.
4) I can never mostly collect all three star coins.
5) I'm bad at finding secrets that unlock extra levels, and therefore have never been able to try out that cannon thing can't figure out how to get to two of the worlds.

I need to stop being such a massive pussy and get better at this game. I'm losing my edge.

P.S.
Here are some cheats.

Put this in your Wii and play with it.

Here (here and here) are some lists of games that may or may not come out for the Wii. I guess wii'll see.

Most of them look like rehashings of old shit, save for that Bob Ross game. I'm sorry, but if they release a bunch of zombie-killing games that let you swing the controller around like a lunatic, I won't have much time for painting "happy trees."

That Orb game sounds pretty intriguing though.

Give me a Mesozoic mind.

It's coming soon. Beware.


(I changed the settings so non-users can comment. Now the whole world can tell me how bad I suck.)