I finally found them...

...well, a picture of them anyway.

I used to beg my grandma to buy these every time we went to the store. I went through every flavor until I found my favorite (Yoshi). Princess Peach was a close runner up, then Mario. Luigi's drink just sucked big time and I ended up wasting those, pouring them in the garbage can every day at St. Joseph's day camp. I tried to save a few of the cans, but someone threw them away. How is it that my grandma saved cans of Billy Beer, yet she had to throw away my Nintendo cans? Not fair! Anyhow, when Coke started producing its mini-cans, it automatically reminded me of those Nintendo drinks, and I've been harassing people ever since, using outright brutality when necessary, to try and make people remember them. Well I can sleep a little better tonight, content in the knowledge that someone else in the world knows what I'm talking about. And now I have proof so I can share it with the rest of you uninformed retards.

Don't be a movie snob.

The notion that there are "smart" movies is a false one; if you mean "artsy," then say artsy, but don't confuse those two terms. Ok maybe Bill Nye movies are "smart" because they are educational, but watching the whole Criterion collection will not teach you anything, and it will not inspire anything. Nor will watching _____ (insert name of foreign film here). In most cases, movies are responsible for stifling creativity. Why imagine anything when a movie does it for you? Most movies that I've heard people call "smart" are just stream of consciousness, random jumbles that make absolutely no sense, but are meant to explain some deep, philosophical or intellectual idea, despite numerous plot holes and broken logic. And nobody understands what is going on, but they act like they do because they don't want to appear quaint. It's a case of the emperor's new clothes. However, if the theory is so complex and intelligent, it shouldn't be able to be completely explained and grasped in a two-hour movie. That's what text books are for.

If you want smart, pick up a book. It doesn't even have to be a classic. If it's a shitty book, you're still forced to think about more than you would a movie. It's what teachers have been telling us our whole lives and believe or not, it's true.

Don't take my opinion as a personal affront, movie buffs. I like movies too, but I have no delusions that the movies I like are anything special. I like the worst of the worst and I'm proud that I can admit it unashamedly.

Can this world really be as sad as it seems?

Yes, yes it is.

When I'm bored and I've run out of uplifting things to read, I'll browse Crime Library. I only do that as a last resort because it's sure to ruin the rest of my night. I don't know why I keep going back and reading these horrible stories; I guess it's the masochist in me. The only words that come to mind after reading about depraved assholes that our justice system doesn't punish severely enough, are these:

"I pray all your days come quickly so that my Christian God will judge you good and proper." --William Cotter, some anonymous commenter on a random blog

I don't know who William Cotter is, but goddamn, he tidily sums up my feelings of disgust.

Crackers are dumb.

I've noticed an awful lot of neo-Nazis from Britain on Myspace. This leads me to wonder what kind of revisionist history is being taught in British schools. Does the word "blitzkrieg" sound familiar to these people? Hitler was really trying to make England his bitch in World War II and that by itself should suffice to piss these people off enough to hate anything Nazi-related. However, since racism is a symptom of ignorance, I wouldn't be surprised if most of these people have little more than an 8th grade education and limited knowledge of their own country's history.

What ever happened to the punks that go around beating up skin heads? Oh yeah, it's not the '80s anymore, regardless of what this clothing store would have me believe.

Hello, Old Friend.

[listening to: The Cure--"Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me"]


The great paradox: We all know Myspace is the short bus of the internet, but we all have one. The people with ten million pictures have one out of vanity, the people with ten million friends have one to achieve a false sense of popularity, the people who like to write have one because that's probably the only way anyone will read their blogs, and other people have one for the voyeurism aspect. I claim the latter two. I personally like to spy on people. Voyeurism rocks. I also like to bitch alot and I know people aren't going to read it if it isn't accompanied by a list of interests, a shitload of pictures (including a snazzy portrait that shows off my boobs), a wacky video, and a cool song that totally sums up the essence of my being. Right? Yeah that's right, because once I started blogging on Myspace the number of blog hits a day rose exponentially. I still don't know who the hell is reading my Myspace blogs everyday because the number of hits is greater than the number of people on my friends list. I don't know if it counts multiple hits from the same users, but if that's the case, there's someone out there neglecting their basic needs so they can refresh the blog over and over again. Shit, people. Go do something else.

I did have a point to make, and it's this--once my elementary school students started lying about their age just to have Myspace accounts that display their tasteless musical interests, I knew I had to get away. So here I am. I came crawling back to Blogger like a sorry ex-lover. I'll probably update both Myspace and Blogger in tandem, but I'm not sure. I really should stop trashing up the internet with countless blogs, but I just can't stand to pick up blogging on old ones again. It's like reusing toilet paper. Once I'm finished wiping the shit off, it's no good anymore. I'll probably be eating my words in a month or so. I'll forget about this thing for good and it'll end up a footnote in the long list of things I've started and never developed fully. And before anyone says anything, I didn't forget about the "black and green" blog, I choose not to mess with it because it goes with the Alice in Wonderland-themed site (aka My Crude Experiments with Flash).

Incidentally, I will post nothing of substance here. Sorry to disappoint you, but it will be the same calibur of bitching and moaning that went on/goes on in other places. Just less interesting because it won't be in the context of a mass popularity contest.

I'd like to end this post, as I often do, with something completely irrelevant:

DEENA, YOU ARE #1!

Although she won't give me her damn picture for anything. -_-