"LIES LIES LIES, yeah!"

This is Jennifer Hagel Smith. She's the one whose husband disappeared from a cruise ship after someone saw a big, bloody smear on the side of the boat. She claims she wasn't drinking very much the night before, but can't remember what she drink or any of the events of the night in question, for that matter. She woke up the next day in a hallway on the opposite side of the boat from her room as someone was dumping her into a wheel chair because she was too messed up to walk. Even though waking up in a strange place after being unconscious despite having very little to drink would alarm and traumatize most normal folks, Jennifer was unfazed. After being brought to her emtpy room by strangers, she continued her day normally and even remembered that she and her husband had an appointment to get a massage. Her husband wasn't anywhere around but she went on her merry way to have the massage and didn't find anything suspicious about her husband's absence from the appointment. I don't feel like narrating the whole incident, but eventually some teenage girl saw the blood and took a picture, then reported it and the cruise people along with Turkish police investigated, but found no evidence and no suspicious characters.

This is where I say, "What. The. Fuck." It's a cruise ship. The killer is SOMEWHERE on the boat. Break out the notepad from the fucking Clue game and get busy.

Anyhow, I didn't start writing this with the intention of talking about the story, as I know it's almost a year old and I didn't even particularly care that someone died on a cruise. What enrages me was that this bitch had the audacity to appear on Oprah and lie. Yes, in my opinion, this woman is full of shit and she's a horrible liar. While I don't think she directly had anything to do with her husband's death, I think she's lying about what she knows and about what happened between them the night of his death. She also had the nerve to try and publicly castrate the presidnt of Royal Caribbean on the show, which pissed me off immensely due to the fact that every claim she made was selfish and had nothing to do with the ineptitude of the cruise line and more to do with the fact that they didn't lick her anus every step of the way. She clearly believes she has a right to celebrity-dom because her husband died. Oprah asked her why she and his family are estranged from each other and she said she thinks it's because she survived and he didn't . Common sense tells us it's just because she's a colossal bitch. I can't say I blame them.

If you think I'm just being harsh....I really recommend watching that episode of Oprah. It's absolutely irritating. I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Here's the Human Lie Detector's opinion on it.